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Funny Books - Brocabulary - The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk

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Brocabulary The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk
Daniel Maurer
Collins Living 2008
224 pages paperback

A “Bro” is a guy who moves his lips to an audio book. Brocabulary – The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk is a total goof. Written (and invented, let’s be honest) by Daniel Maurer, Brocabulary is a dick-tionary of pseudo manly expressions dudes use to communicate. This is a fun book that belongs in any guy’s power room (the bro equivalent of a girl’s powder room) as it is fun to pim-ruse.

This book changed my life: Maurer provides lists of must know signs a dude should be aware of such as those of Femcroachment –leaving beer is okay, leaving supplies for her monthly visitor is not.  I had not realized until I read Brocabulary how close to disaster I had come. Thanks to Maurer’s Femtrapment section I now know how to answer questions such as “Do you love me as much as when we first met?”, or “Would you hook up with insert-best-girl friend’s-name?”: it seems the answers are not “Hell, yeah!” or “In a threesome? For sure!”

I thought just letting your tongue stick out, making a circle in the air with your finger (to order another round) or saying “Hubba hubba!” was communication enough.  In Brocabulary, Daniel Maurer provides hundreds of definitions to words I had never heard before such as “vadge of honor” (you don’t want to know),  wee-rection (you don’t want to know) or clockblocked –fairly easy to figure out.

If you are a woman and want to understand your dude this book – or any other book, no matter what Dr. Feel says-- is not going to help. All you need to know are the three male priorities: sex, food, and The Game and, as one stand-up comic noticed, men do not remember anything: we invented the instant replay to remember the goal we just saw.

The one weak point to Brocabulary – The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk is that Daniel Maurer liberally uses dude talk and often uses words he has yet to define.

This sort of dictionary of pseudo dude talk is as useless as it is fun. If you got a son going to college, this would make one hell of a weird but appreciated gift.

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