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Baby On Board
Heather Graham, Jerry O?Connell, John Corbett, Lara Flynn Boyle
Directed by Brian Herzlinger
National Entertainment Media 2009
95 minutes

I have not come across this brutal a comedy, ever. Baby On Board Blu-ray is a 95 minute long series of mean spirited gags, dead jokes, and supposedly comic situations even a drunk frat brother would not find funny. The only explanation I can possibly find for Baby On Board is some studio intern decided to glue together the pages torn out of other relationship comedy scripts and call it a movie. It was released in theatres in May this year and on DVD in June.

In Baby on Board Angela (Heather Graham) is a cosmetics company hack married to successful divorce lawyer Curtis (Jerry O’Connell). She works for insane or tough boss Mary (Lara Flynn Boyle). Curtis’ best friend Danny (John Corbett) is a crotch hound and Angela’s best friend is Danny’ wife Sylvie. Angela and Curtis split because she thinks he is cheating on her and he thinks the unplanned baby she is expecting is not his. Even 3’s Company had more believable misunderstandings than this one.

This is an example of the stellar writing in Baby On Board:

Sylvie: After Ryan (her son)? You could have smuggled Mexicans over the border in my vagina. Enormous!

Angela: You have a great vagina. Any man would be lucky to be in your vagina.

On the plus side, Angela and Curtis’ fight involves not speaking to each other so you are given a few minutes of relief.

This is romantic comedy Blu-ray so you know eventually the two lovebirds will discover it’s all been a misunderstanding.  This is an American comedy so you know the happy couple will get together in time for the baby’s birth. If you think these are spoilers, you can’t spoil something already rotten.